Sunday, September 24, 2017
Poor Luck University offers the following new major:
A lucrative career can be had for the graduate majoring in Protesting. The political climate of the 21st century has creating a thriving job market for graduates with a BA in Protesting. Salaries start at around $50,000 annually, but can balloon to over $100,000 during Presidential election years. Professional Protesters must be willing to travel frequently and spend several hours a day outdoors.
Signage 101 and 102: Introductory courses which instruct the student in sign design, choosing durable materials which will resist harsh weather, rotten fruit, tear gas and conservative flatulence. These courses are required prerequisites for Placard Messaging 300.
Hood and Mask Design 100: Another introductory level course which explains the variety of masks and hoods available to the professional protester. This course delves into the variety of materials available, whether both nose and mouth holes are necessary and when to wear such protection.
Chanting and Slogans 201: This intermediate level course teaches the art of creating catchy and news worthy slogans. Emphasis is placed on simplicity and directness of the message. This course is a requirement for Placard Messaging 300.
White Privilege 300: This upper level course studies the reality of white privilege, particularly as it pertains to the male portion of the population. The origins, violent nature, historical trends and methods for its elimination will be studied in depth. Field study may include visits to Monticello, Virginia; Vidor, Texas and Trump Tower.
True Fascism 302: This upper level course examines the danger that the fascist portion of society poses to the future of democracy. This course usually is taken after “White Privilege 300.”
Placard Messaging 300 and 301: Upper level course which studies the history of protesting signage, the psychology of slogans and appealing to the ignorant masses.
The Deplorables: The True Enemy?: This senior seminar examines our traditional society, delving into the origins, beliefs and the ultimate destiny of this segment of the population.
Windows: This senior seminar presents the basic construction of most windows and discusses the most effective way to smash them to the greatest effect. Field work on the Berkeley Campus may be necessary.
Shouting and Chanting: This required senior seminar allows the student to expand upon the groundwork established in Chanting and Slogans 201. Coordination of verbal messaging and voice projection are part of the discussion.
Rules for Radicals: A Pragmatic Primer for Realistic Radicals
by Saul Alinsky
What Happened by Hillary Clinton
Dreams From My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance by Barack Obama
A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn
Interns: the Bad and the Beautiful by Bill Clinton