Sunday, January 29, 2017

Super Bowl Prediction 2017


It’s that time of year again. The national day of beer, pizza, occasionally clever commercials and one over hyped game. The Super bowl is upon us again.
Super Bowl LI.
When I first read about it I wondered who or what LI was. I did know that the game will be played in Houston, which meant that LI did not stand for Long Island. Maybe LI was a new fashion designer about to make a bold statement with the Super Bowl as his or her backdrop. But, it finally dawned on me that the annual event was always couched in Roman numerals and LI stood for “51.”
Super Bowl LI: New England Patriots vs Atlanta Falcons.
On the surface it shouldn’t even be a close game. Tom Brady, Bill Belichik with all their Super Bowl experience against a team who don’t have one player I’ve ever heard of. The current line is Patriots minus 3 points. A no brainer, at first glance.
But, such an important event deserves far closer scrutiny and analysis. I will start with the Patriots.
What are Patriots, particularly those from New England?
A rag tag band of colonists trying to separate themselves from their mother country. Typically they are armed with muskets; firearms which fire large caliber “balls” with all the accuracy of Shaquille O’Neal shooting free throws. It is true that such muskets can inflict great damage should they hit their mark, a relatively rare event.
And, battling these Patriots? Falcons. Sleek birds with sharp claws and beaks, perfectly designed for hunting and killing mice, rats and other small animals. The Falcon is the fastest of all birds, able to soar at speeds of close to seventy miles per hour and dive at speeds over two hundred miles per hour.
Is this a fair matchup?
A motley crew of colonials armed with inaccurate firearms vs. a deadly, high speed hunter with claws and beaks which could peck out eyes while their hapless prey are trying to reload their worthless muskets.
Surely, dear reader, you have heard of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds.”
There is no question about this year’s ritual game. The Patriots will be caught flat footed by the lightning Falcon attacks and all that will remain will be the bloodied bodies and tattered uniforms of New England’s storied team.

Falcons 27    Patriots 17