Tuesday, April 5, 2011

N.A.P.


Today marks the birth of a new political party, one that’s perfectly suited to the troubled times we live in. Kicking off the presidential campaign for 2012 is the National Apathetic Party or NAP. Long overdue, this new party will appeal to all the voters who believe they lack a voice in government today.



NAP’s party platform is built upon the slogan “Who Cares”. These two words sum up the sentiments of the vast silent majority that has been kicked around by Republicans, Democrats, Tea Partyers, Libertarians, Conservatives, Marxists, the Far Left, and the Far Right. At a recent debate NAP Chairman demonstrated the power of the party platform by missing the event completely. When later asked the party’s position on tax reform he answered “Who Cares?”. When queried about the war in Afghanistan he gave the party line response “Who Cares?”.



NAP is currently diligently working to obtain the necessary 50,000 signatures on petitions that will allow it to be listed on the 2012 ballot. Unfortunately, party leaders concede that anyone that actually signs these petitions is immediately disqualified from being a part of NAP as such intense involvement demonstrates a total lack of apathy. Indeed, such enthusiasm would spell doom for NAP.



A recent fundraising event was deemed a great success by NAP leaders as nobody attended, signifying new heights of apathy. When Washington DC reporters sought commentary from NAP leaders no individual was available leaving political insiders in a fog and scratching their collective heads over the mysterious power and momentum that the party is generating.



Bill O’Reilly commented on “The Factor” that the National Apathetic Party could be the great unknown in the upcoming 2012 election, but lamented that party leaders had not responded to requests to appear on his show. He went on to say that calls to NAP headquarters went unanswered and that a recorded message stating that their phone lines had been disconnected and e-mail accounts closed.


“The level of apathy demonstrated by NAP is truly extraordinary and I’m fearful that the movement will surpass the Tea Party and weigh heavily on future campaigns”, O’Reilly commented. This was during a segment of his show when, for the first time, he had no one to interview, as the NAP representative failed to appear, apparently due to lack of interest.



If you are interested in joining NAP, check out their website at www.apathy.org. “Who Cares?” T-shirts and bumperstickers may be purchased on that site. But, don’t be surprised if no one responds to your queries. Because, the people of NAP are dead serious about their apathy.