Saturday, October 16, 2010

Anti-Gravity

With election day right around the corner it’s time to start thinking about the 2012 campaign year. The usual run-up to the presidential election will feature the usual mundane ramblings by interchangeable Republicans and Democrats about taxes, jobs and the weaknesses and corruption of the opposing candidate. It’s time for a new party, one with a bold vision that looks to the future with imagination and a plan that will lift the people to previously unknown heights.

In this spirit the formation of the Anti-Gravity Party is now official. It’s time to look at some of the antiquated laws that hold all the world hostage to ideas that have grown old and stale. The Law of Gravity has been on the books for over three hundred years, ever since it was penned by Sir Isaac Newton. This law, brought into existence by only one man and never voted upon by a proper representative government, holds us down and limits the potential for growth by its very restrictive nature.

If the Law of Gravity were repealed just think of the endless possibilities. Currently, almost all our activities are limited to those areas close to our planet’s surface. Most construction is merely on the ground or just beneath. If gravity were eliminated, however, all the sky above us would be opened for the expansion of the human population. Food shortages would disappear as the burgeoning population moved to the sky, opening up precious land to agriculture. Energy shortages would become a not so fond memory as a world without gravity would allow for unrestricted mobility.

Of course, the elderly among us would be grateful for the potential health benefits. Bodies would no longer be subject to years of pummeling by the unrelenting force of gravity. The “settling” of so many of our body parts that accompanies the aging process, all mediated by gravity’s undiscriminating brutality, would be eliminated. It’s true that some Plastic Surgeons would see a loss of revenue as many of their procedures that were geared towards counteracting gravity’s long term effects would become mere footnotes in history of surgery textbooks.

So, it’s time to say “Down with Gravity, Up with True Freedom”, the Anti-Gravity campaign slogan. In the coming weeks more details about the Anti-Gravity Party will become available. Support is needed from everyone that is unhappy with the status quo. Donations as small as 25 cents will go a long way towards freeing humanity from the shackles imposed by the antiquated Law of Gravity. And, if this campaign proves a success other outdated precepts can be addressed. In particular, the Laws of Friction should bear some scrutiny, because it is clear that there is far too much friction in our world.