Can
you tell us anything about your sex life?
The
Minotaur stopped an stroked his chin for a few moments, he started to speak,
stopped and then started again.
No one has ever asked me that before. I’ve not been
one to kiss and tell and for the most part there is very little to tell. I was
locked away in the Labyrinth at age twelve and spent endless years in solitude.
Before the Labyrinth I suppose I was involved in a few childish pranks with the
other palace boys. We would spy on the female servants as they bathed or
occasionally cavorted with some of the royalty or guards, but I was locked away
before I became aware of what sex was.
However, after my escape I made my way to Egypt and
was declared Nev, god of the surf, when I emerged from the sea. Well, I was
still a very young man at the time, at least when speaking about immortal
beings, and I had all the normal appetites one would expect. And, as a god, I
was a temptation to everyone. Those Egyptians took every opportunity to mingle
with their deities.
They say Solomon had 700 wives and 300 hundred
concubines in his life, I had that many in a month. They came to me in every
size, shape and combination. I was young and foolish and, as a god, I didn’t
think I should refuse any offers. Women came, men came, and some came that I
wasn’t sure about. Everyone wanted a part of me. But, it was all meaningless.
After the first few months I grew to hate it. Why? I think it was because not
one of my many consorts truly cared. I think in that time I had enough sex for
ten lifetimes. In and out, up and down, standing up, sitting down, this way and
that, it all became so tiresome. So, I put a stop to it and spent my time on
activities which were far more godly: righting wrongs, passing judgment,
helping those who were less fortunate. By the time I left Egypt sex was a mere
memory and it stayed that way for many, many years.
So
you became celibate?
Well, sort of. I was turned off to humanity. But I
did spend time among the cows, off and on. I guess it’s the bullish part of
that has this attraction for the Elsies. ( I think Borden stole Elsie the cow
from me.) The feeling however, was not mutual. Look at me. I’m human from the
chest down. The Elsies are used to cavorting with stern, virile, amply endowed complete
bulls, not a half human, less than average sized mutant. Even though I lived among cows for years, the
Elsies never gave me the time of day and the true bulls treated me with nothing
but contempt. Talk about sexual frustration.
Celibacy became the norm and I really didn’t mind.
And then came Biz, my wife. She combined the best of everything. She was the
wolf-girl in the circus I joined and it was love at first sight. She was
beautiful, hairy, shapely, kind, intelligent and we had years of wedded bliss
before she passed away. Our sex life was one of true love, which made it
passionate and a million times better than all the thousands of encounters I’d
had in Egypt.
Since she’s been gone I haven’t been with anyone else.
The buffed, waxed, simonized women of today just don’t do anything for me. Give
me a woman with some hair and maybe I’ll be interested. But, no one could ever
replace my beloved Biz. Maybe, I’m just getting old.
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