It’s
that time of year again. The national day of beer, pizza, occasionally clever
commercials and one over hyped game. The Super bowl is upon us again.
Super
Bowl LI.
When
I first read about it I wondered who or what LI was. I did know that the game
will be played in Houston, which meant that LI did not stand for Long Island.
Maybe LI was a new fashion designer about to make a bold statement with the
Super Bowl as his or her backdrop. But, it finally dawned on me that the annual
event was always couched in Roman numerals and LI stood for “51.”
Super
Bowl LI: New England Patriots vs Atlanta Falcons.
On
the surface it shouldn’t even be a close game. Tom Brady, Bill Belichik with
all their Super Bowl experience against a team who don’t have one player I’ve
ever heard of. The current line is Patriots minus 3 points. A no brainer, at
first glance.
But,
such an important event deserves far closer scrutiny and analysis. I will start
with the Patriots.
What
are Patriots, particularly those from New England?
A
rag tag band of colonists trying to separate themselves from their mother
country. Typically they are armed with muskets; firearms which fire large
caliber “balls” with all the accuracy of Shaquille O’Neal shooting free throws.
It is true that such muskets can inflict great damage should they hit their
mark, a relatively rare event.
And,
battling these Patriots? Falcons. Sleek birds with sharp claws and beaks,
perfectly designed for hunting and killing mice, rats and other small animals.
The Falcon is the fastest of all birds, able to soar at speeds of close to
seventy miles per hour and dive at speeds over two hundred miles per hour.
Is
this a fair matchup?
A
motley crew of colonials armed with inaccurate firearms vs. a deadly, high
speed hunter with claws and beaks which could peck out eyes while their hapless
prey are trying to reload their worthless muskets.
Surely,
dear reader, you have heard of Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds.”
There
is no question about this year’s ritual game. The Patriots will be caught flat
footed by the lightning Falcon attacks and all that will remain will be the
bloodied bodies and tattered uniforms of New England’s storied team.
Falcons
27 Patriots 17
